So, I have been trying (KEY WORD, TRYING) a new thing to make sure I get some exercise before I fuck around on Facebook every day….

I have vowed I will walk the dogs around Fowler Lake in Oconomowoc each morning-ish (because it usually ends up noon before I do).  I (in theory) have to do this before posting on FB each morning. It has since been revised that I can conduct BUSINESS on FB prior to walking, but my social, fun posting has to wait until the dogs are walked–or my ass will continue to grow, and I can’t have that. I am one step away from having to live in leggings again, because I refuse to buy jeans bigger than my “fat jeans” that I already grew back into.

Every morning, I let the dogs out, and try to get them to go to the bathroom before we walk. I tell them to go potty, I tell them to go run around when they don’t go potty, in hopes that it gets things moving. Nope. They never go.

We get in the car, and head over to Our Savior’s Church in Oconomowoc to park and start the two mile walk around the lake. It’s actually 1.89 miles, but since I have to walk back to one of the three garbage cans on the walk several times, back and forth, it ends up being two miles.

I thought yesterday was bad–I literally had a half mile in, and we hadn’t even cleared sight of my car, due to the non-stop “walk a half block, poop, pick up, walk back to the garbage can” game that we played SIX TIMES.

Well, they topped themselves today.

We parked at the church…Max immediately pooped in the plants. I picked it up, took two steps towards the garbage can, he pooped again. I picked it up, took four steps towards the can, Anya pooped. I almost gave up and came home, but figured they had to be empty.

I figure it’s okay to cross the road and get to the garbage, and proceed with our walk. NOPE.

Max went AGAIN. I was so tempted to call it a day, AGAIN, but gee, they HAD TO BE DONE, right? I went on my merry way…and .41 miles into it, they both took monster elephant craps.

I need to figure out what to do. I do not feed them before we go. And frankly, I don’t like carrying around 5 pounds of dog shit while walking every morning. It’s beyond disgusting. It’s like they have some chip on their sphincter that is activated by putting their leashes on.

I DO want to thank Hallet Vet for supplying the poop bags at the three stops on the walk. I literally use six a day.  I should maybe notify them when I am not walking the dogs–they can save a trip checking up on the dispensers.

Or…maybe it’s time to go to Nashotah Park and hike the trails again. I’ll be honest, I am the asshole who doesn’t pick up poop if they don’t poop ON the trails, but rather, on the side of the trails. My logic is it’s in the woods, deer and fox are pooping there daily…and there are NO garbage cans on the trails at all. So, if you are in the Lake Country area and see basically elephant crap along side any wooded trails, it’s me. Or rather, it’s MY DOGS. I own it.